22 Aug Guilty for not feeling guilty
I have spent the entire summer feeling guilty for leaving my three kids home alone while I worked. Even though my oldest is 13 and I was gone just five hours a day at the most, I felt the angst. School starts Monday and I now feel guilty that I am happy to send them to school so I can lose my guilt about leaving them home. I’m guilty about not feeling guilty – or something like that!
Our society teaches us that everything is possible. We see what others are doing and we assume we should be doing the same – and if we’re not, something is wrong with us.
For me, when I see a successful woman (supermom, career mom, pretty, fit, happy, smart, whatever defines success for me on any given day), I assume she does all I do in addition to all she does. I have to be careful about that. No matter how hard I try, I am not going to be able to find the hours to blog, write books, cook gourmet meals from scratch, keep a manicured yard, clean my house, exercise every day, have pets, take kids to practices, read to my kids, vacation, work, meet friends for coffee, lead youth group, teach Bible studies, pray, you get the idea. Something has to give – we must be happy with parameters and balance!
I joke about being happy with mediocrity. But it’s freeing, really, when I reach a point when I can be happy with something being “okay.” I am not beautiful, but I’m okay. My yard is full of weeds, but it’s okay. This blog may not be fabulous, but it’s okay with me if just one person is touched in some way. When I can lose guilt about not being perfect, I can be free to enjoy and thrive and focus on what I SAY are my priorities – my faith, my husband, my children.