past Archives - JJ Landis
33
archive,category,category-past,category-33,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,qode-title-hidden,qode-content-sidebar-responsive,qode-theme-ver-10.1.1,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-5.2.1,vc_responsive
living for real, pain, past, real life / 18.04.2016

  Unloved. Useless. These words are buried deep.   The seeds were sprinkled by adults when my heart was fertile. But it was me who cultivated. I watered and tended. What grew was unlovely, useless fruit.   I was given talents. I was gifted. I hid them underground. I covered it all. They grew despite my efforts to conceal. But talents and gifts were influenced and manipulated by those two words: Unloved. Useless. Established roots held this life in place.   Fruit can be deceptive with its color and texture and sheen. Its fragrance. The praise after a taste, I reject. I doubt. It’s never enough. As others sample my pain, my life, my growth, are they deceived or am I?   The dominating roots...

freedom, grace, living for real, past, some things you keep, suicide, writing life / 25.03.2016

Happy First Birthday to me! March 25, 2015, a dream became a reality when my book Some Things You Keep was published.   A year later, I am still satisfied with my work, my writing, my story. Doing it all over, I would rearrange some things and correct errors, but for the most part, the finished product has held up. I’m proud of myself for not disparaging anyone, for being respectful (yet honest) concerning my family.   Most people don’t know the difference between traditionally published books and self-published books. As a book...

acceptance, addiction, adolescence, balanced life, beauty, blessings, contentment, crying, death, depression, freedom, guest post, kids, life is good, living for real, past, real life, some things you keep, suicide / 27.01.2016

  Writer Shawn Smucker has a series on his blog called "Letters To Those We've Lost" where he features letters from guests. Some of the letters were so powerful and beautiful, I decided to write my own. Sometimes writing a few paragraphs takes me hours, but this letter took about 15 minutes to come out of me. I guess I was ready to say it!   Dear Mom,   The last time I spoke to you was from the phone in Jeff’s apartment. I loved hanging out there with him, my big brother. I called to tell you...

balanced life, crying, disappointment, fear, kids, living for real, marriage, pain, past, perspective / 05.11.2015

  My kids didn’t have school on Monday. My husband forgot the kids didn’t have school on Monday. I got mad at him for that horrible transgression. How could he have overlooked something I added to his calendar? Seriously! Have you ever heard of anything so awful?   We live and die by our calendars, and he misses about one out of every 300 things, so I really had no reason to be upset.   I was kinda rude to him when he left for work and I immediately felt guilty, so I...

addiction, anxiety, crying, pain, past, thirst / 11.10.2015

  Take and eat. This is my body, broken for you.   My head is exploding in pain. Day two.   Could be I need an updated prescription for my glasses. Or I eat too much sugar and processed food. Or I have neglected exercise for days. Or I am carrying too much tension in my shoulders and neck. Or I have consumed excessive amounts of caffeine.   When you’re the picture of health as I am, it’s hard to pinpoint a cause of the migraine.   Whatever the origin, the fact is: my head hurts. Sleep...