fear Archives - JJ Landis
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beauty, changes, fear, future, kids, living for real, marriage, pain, parenting, real life / 04.08.2017

It's Friday night. All my kids are home with me. I am happy. My sixteen-year-old is on the couch drinking a smoothie and watching The Office. My eleven-year-old and I just made some baked oatmeal to eat in the morning. My fourteen-year-old son is in the shower washing bleach out of his hair. Against my better judgment, I helped him slather bleach on his hair. We may be shaving his head later tonight – if he ends up with a crispy, orange hairdo. My husband is in his...

beauty, blessings, contentment, fear, kids, life is good, living for real, parenting, real life / 11.05.2016

  Just like the night before, on my pillow was a love letter written on a hot pink, flower-shaped sticky note: “You are amazing, outstanding, awesome, unbelievable, perfect. These are barely anything compared to you. Emma.”   More than 15 years ago, when Esther was born, I learned how to be a mom. I learned how to change diapers and nurse, how to worry, how to punish, how to praise, how to clean puke out of hair, how to tickle and sing and play, how to love a little girl. I recognized...

beauty, blessings, courage, crying, disappointment, fear, grace, kids, living for real, love, pain, parenting, perspective, prayer, real life / 06.01.2016

When friends struggle, it's common to say, "Let me know if there's anything I can do for you." We say that when we don't know what to do or say. I added to that recently, "Do you want me to come over? I can." She said yes and gave me a priceless gift and many lessons.     Thank you, my friend, for letting me walk this journey with you. Thank you for saying yes when I asked if you needed anything. You let me in to see your devastation. You welcomed my presence, even...

anxiety, balanced life, bible, christmas, crying, death, depression, fear, freedom, God's light, life is good, living for real, pain, perspective, real life, suicide / 16.12.2015

  I had a tough day recently. I was tired and gloomy. I vacillated between anxiety over responsibilities and sadness over the passing of time and how futile it is to try to stop the clock. I wanted to crawl in bed and hide. I wanted to cry. I wanted to take a mental health day and escape life.   Having a personal history of depression and anxiety and a family history of suicide, I was determined to keep a straight head. I couldn’t wallow. I couldn’t let myself break...

fear, God's light, golden rule, judgment, living for real, love, make a difference, pain, real life, sin / 01.12.2015

  I’m embarrassed to be in the same camp as people who take drastic measures in the name of Christ. I view the world as a mash of colors and swirls and lots of grays; and though I want to so badly see sharp corners and stark differences and clear blacks and whites, I repeatedly fail in those efforts.   What do we in the Church fear? Why are we afraid of people who think differently than we do? Why do we respond with dogmatism and draw precise lines between wrong...